Stinkbutt Horoscope

sare: Today, stinkbutt, while attending some kind of voluntary program or helping those in need, you may meet the person of your dreams. The cosmos suggests that this may not be the hottest person at the disco, but they will surely have the biggest heart in town

I really wish he was the hottest person at the disco

mo: but his heart may eat your heart!

sare: oh my god!
his heart, it's stomping through the streets
waging a path of destruction!

mo: the shoe imprint of his heart is bigger than my head!
he's coming straight at the baby carriage!

sare: what type of mutated freak has a heart so big!!?!?!??!??!

mo: it's carnage! his heart must be stopped!

sare: he's my love! And I'll thank you not to stare!

mo: i can't help staring at him - look at his fists!
that's how big his heart is

sare: aren't they wonderful?

mo: why can't you keep his heart in line?
his heart smushed my impatients again!
i implore you to get his heart a leash

sare: I can't!!!
he's not a monster!
I can't chain him!
how do you harness a heart?

mo: then put a tag on his heartneck and get the thing that will shock his heart if he gets to near the property line!

sare: so cruel . . .but if I must

mo: look at my impatients! I worked all summer on them!

sare: i'm so sorry, he only wanted to cover them with love

mo: bloody love

sare: he just wanted to LOVE your flowers
and that building

mo: i haven't seen my dog, arnold, in 2 weeks

sare: and the baby >shakes head< oh . . . the baby.

mo: i don't suppose you know anything about that?

sare: he's . . . allergic.

mo: and your point would be?
wait!
you're completely admitting to it - his heart killed arnold!

sare: what! no!
you can't prove it!
he loved that dog
LOVED that dog.

mo: ARNOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sare: listen, you're going through a tough time
maybe you need a hug . . . . . .

mo: oooooooooooooooh! i see behind you!
i know what you're doing to me
* runs *
* slips on blood *

sare: * giant hand snatches after you *
Just give in!

mo: * pulled back by right ventricular *

sare: it's wonderful!

mo: (i know my body!)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
* bu-bun * * bu-bun * * bu-bun *
in the pattern of jaws

sare: :veins shoot out and wrap around your legs:

mo: aortic valve closes over my head

sare: You shouldn't have talked!

mo: AR
* suck *
NO
* suck *
LD

sare: he's in there.
you'll see him.

mo: * cue music *
* sweet strains of reunited and it feels so good *

sare: CREDITS
BLOOPER REEL