sare and mo join an improv troupe

sare: it's just one guy
i bet
with glassy eyes and a plastered-on smile
mo: and crumbs from his daily piece of coffee cake
all over his seersucker suit
sare: and part of the improv training for his theater involves a "special diet"
mo: (orange rinds dipped in olive oil)
sare: and multiple viewings "once Upon a Mattress"
mo: because carol burnett was never respected enough
sare: "This is the soul of improv, keep watching until you get it."
mo: yahoo's are FORBODDEN
but yodeling is encouraged
sare: no contact through email, the group communicates through frequent, hand-written letters.
mo: please don the nightly eyegear - glasses with crazy eyes - while you sleep and listen to the mp3 i made with all of phil hartman's recorded messages
sare: yes, and for god's sake wear the jesster's hat to bed
mo: it's not comedy until you cry
sare: yes!
sare: comedy is tragedy plus time, so we will have week long intensive therapy session where you'll be sharing your innermost feelings of pain, loss and betrayal. Box lunch to be served.
mo: cell phones are prohibited
in fact, start weening yourself off of them
in general, dont' talk to anyone but me
and maybe your fellow improviser
sare: put your watches in this box
you'll get them back when you're ready
mo: ha ha ha ha! when the time is right ! get it my good men?
because we only allow men here
except for carol burnett movies
sare: women are not funny, but let's lure some here for occasional rehearsals.
only bring women you want to bone, and women we can bone. tell them they can perform.
it'll keep their spirits up!
mo: shampooing can be a bit of the drain of both your time and money - discontinue it immediately
and if you feel that showering is also hindering - stop it asap.
nothing says comedy like stinking
mo: never stop to literally smell the flowers (at deli's)
just don't - it's not funny
sare: I will be giving you a handout of things that are and are not funny, so please memorize it, ok? don't just look it over. I don't want to have to stop you mid-scene. (you can carry the handout during scenes for REHEARSALS ONLY)
mo: speaking of rehearsals, a lot of you have been asking if we're allowed breaks
the answer is no
did God take a break when creating the world?
so make sure you go to the bathroom before the 5 hour
rehearsal thanks
sare: he did, actually. on Sunday. AFTER HE WAS DONE.
I'm looking around, and I don’t see anyone who's done rehearsing.
A strong bladder is the soul of improv.
mo: is that a cell phone
sare: promotion is also the soul of
improv, so go door to door if you have to.
mo: always be clowning