sare & mo make sense

mo: like a polar bear must get in a very warm country
sure i don't make sense but do i have to?

sare: no
it's whatever you want it to mean
how you (personally) attch meaning to words and phrases

mo: i make them into grapes and pjs

sare: whatever the receptor (listener) and the actor(me=always an actor) can provoke new images in athenlsjk;dboixfaOEWsfn

mo: i sometimes fiddle with the dial that is my ear and tune into an amazing plastic pony of herbles

sare: yes!
but what you don't understand is that my personal interprtaiont of herbles is that of phonification

mo: when i phonificate on a hebble leaf of forgonage i become enraptured with the glow of the miffle in my bear glassware

sare: good! now, harass me sexually!

mo: Oh! well, of course ... are you from PA?

sare: I AM SO LOST! AND I LOVE IT!

sare & mo make spam

sare: LETS START A SPAM BUSINESS

mo: there has NEVER been a better idea from you, my dear!

sare: SELL SPAMBLOCKER
AND WE SEND PEOPEL CDS THEY CAN USE AS A A SPAM BLOCKER

mo: WITH ! a key chain

sare: BUT REALLY THE CD JUST CALLS US AND TELLS US THEIR PRIVATE BUISINESSES
AND WE STEAL IDENTITIES
I WANT TO BE
UM
THAT GIRL ELIZABETH FROM THE VEIW
STEAL IT!

mo: I WANT TO BE CHAD LOWE

sare: THAT IS THE BEST IDEA I HAVE EVER HEARD
CAN WE BOTH BE CHAD LOWE?

mo: YES! I think it probably takes more than one person to BE chad lowe

sare: HA

mo: the key chain - IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING - steals their DNA


sare: YES!
MAYBE HE WILL APPRECIATE US BEING HIM
EACH A QUATER OF THE TIME

mo: IT WOULD BE BETTER THAN US BEING MEGAN FOLLOWS

sare: SHE WAS A BULIMIC ON ER ONE TIME
I'D LOVE TO BE ON ER

mo: I'D GIVE A LOT TO BE A REDHEAD

sare: WE WILL MAKE SURE TO SPAM REDHEADS

mo: I'D TOTALLY KISS GEORGE CLOONY!
WAIT! SORRY - YES - SPAM

sare: WAIT
WHAT I WERE GEORGE CLOONEY
AND YOU BECAME GEOGRE CLOONEYS GIRLFRIEND
AND WE DIDN'T KNOW IT

mo: WE'D HAVE TO ROGER, PROLLY!
sare: WE'D ACCIDENTLY KISS EAHCOTHER
DOES THAT MAKE US GAYYE

mo: i mean, kiss! yes, kiss! not have butt secks!

sare: I'M JUST SAYING, LET'S TRY IT.

mo: (sare - we're already gayye for each other - it would just firm it up)
I'M IN

Sare Goes On Vacation

sare: i'm eatin plaintain chips
my bos said something to me and i missed it

mo: eep

sare: i think she apologized for being curt with me

mo: she prolly said, have a good time, slut

sare: yes, in fact
and i will!
slut!

mo: lady is gonna slap ass and take names

sare: and eat hobnobs, muthatruckas

mo: eat hobnobs?
does that mean what I think it does?

sare: oh yes
SCOTTISH
SOCCER
HOOLIGAN
DOIN' IT!

mo: these are all so thrilling
i'm getting a bit tit-alated

sare: I won't be getting to a computer while I'm away, I'm afraid

mo: i BET you do!

sare: my hands will be occupied

mo: i mean i bet you WILL, you randy fox

sare: what's rogering? have I ever done it before?

mo: i BELIEVE its the butt secks

sare: what's the difference between doing it "roundly" and just regular?
oh!
then no, i haven't


sare: mmm. hobnobs.

mo: but eating them, sare?
does that mean DIGESTING?
will you go to these contries and become a canibal?

sare: "become"
?

mo: *DUN DUH DUUUUUUUUUUH*

sare: did i say plantains before?

mo: * pulls on collar *

sare: I meant man's brains!

mo: * starts stretching for a sprint *

sare: I almost said "man's taints" but that grossed me out.

mo: * VMTS *

sare and mo prep to kill

sare: GET HIM!

mo: i'm ready to move FORWARD with that plan

sare: as in, ATTACK!

mo: is this a secure channel?

sare: duffy duffy springboard

mo: seth moore has a nose hair

sare: alright
we are free to talk, comrade
for unlimited minutes!
aahhahahah

mo: the plan is simple
the execution is key

sare: two words:
GET HIM!

mo: * packs up revolver *

sare: >slaps self in face to get 'pumped'<

mo: * pulls thigh highs up under mini *

sare: >kisses saint medals<
>crosses self<

mo: * selects Midnight Murder from lipstick box on top of dresser *

sare: >puts on rocking tunes<
>adjusts gauntlets<
>finds gauntlets unecessary<
>and, let's face it, a little gay<
>i mean, this isn't the ren faire<
>gauntlets made sense in the time of swords when forearms were more of a target<
>it was a more elegant time<
>fuck it, I'm wearing the gauntlets<

mo: * its more seedy than res times i think *

sare: >this is what I'm saying<

mo: * its more 70's *

sare: >they'll be under my trenchcoat<

mo: * like you know um, the french connection? *

sare: >I just don't want him to judge me<
>right before I END HIS LIFE<

mo: * our mission is to kill him - he's going to judge you *

sare: >you're right<
>I'm wearing the gauntlets<
>AND the tabbard<

mo: * that's fine! i'm wearing thigh highs for goodness sake *

sare: >yeah, but you make them work<

mo: * if i could, i'd also just be in my shirtsleeves but i think this long jacket adds flair *

sare: >very matrix<
>you really pull yourself together<

mo: * thank you! that's so nice! *
* you look, for the record, very avante guard *

sare: >you think? I think I look too brutish<

mo: * no! you look very military in the best sense *

sare: >ok. thanks<
>let's kill this guy<

mo: * breaks heel on curb *

sare: That's a shame.

mo: I need a scotch

sare and mo go up above the murderous toilet paper

sare: blerblerbler shamrockshake!

mo: sare's between the countries right now, she can't come to the gtalk

sare: i'm flying on the magic plane!
the ocean is licking us!
IT TICKLES!

mo: * ocean has on french maid uniform *

moments tick by

sare: SORRY I WAS BUSY FLYING THE PLANE

mo: * ocean pouts *

sare: THERE IS ROOM FOR YOU ON MY LAP, OCEAN
THERE IS TOOM FOR ALL ON MY LAP!

mo: TOOM! Are you inviting her too?

sare: TOOM ARRANGED MY FLIGHTS
TOOM IS ORBITRZ
WE ARE DATING

mo: THEN WHY AM I ON YOUR LAP?

sare: KEEP IT UNDER YOUR HATS
LAP IS NICE

mo: I WILL NOT BE A THIRD WHEEL

sare: I LOVE LAP

mo: I GIVE GOOD LAP

sare: OH LOOK
CLOUDS.

mo: oh, clouds!
no! clouds are taking me from you!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

sare: THEY LOOK LIKE MY BEDROOM CEILING!
WHITE!

mo: THEY ARE KILLING ME!

sare: SO MUCH FOR CLOUDS BEING LIKE TOILET PAPER
MURDEROUS TOILET PAPER MORE LIKE! HAHAH!

mo: MY RAIN BROTHERS ! COME TO ME ! CUMULUS !

sare: OH SHIT
YOU GOING ALL ODIN AND CRAP

mo: CIRCLE OF LIFE FANCY PILOT!

sare: I'LL MAKE WISHES ON YOU

mo: WITH PENNIES?

sare: THEY BETTER G*D*MN COME TRUE

mo: I'M JUST THE OCEAN, I'M DEEP NOT A G*D* GENIE

sare: I DON'T LIKE YOUR TONE

mo: YOU DON'T LIKE MY TONE? FANCY PILOT! YOU'VE ASKED ME TO SIT ON YOUR LAP WHEN YOU LOVE ANOTHER! YOU'RE LUCKY YOU'RE ONLY GETTING TONE AND NOT GETTING WAVES!
gosh, I ...

sare: um
i mean
it's just a lap right?

mo: It's just that
well, this happens a lot to me ... I think I'm connecting
and I'm just a lap warmer

sare: >flys plane into the side of a mountain<

Pure Imagination

mo: what if america were a cow?

sare: what if nobody had feet?

mo: what if you didn't have to put your hands in your pockets?

sare: what if yogurt could be eaten without a spoon, OR, with TWO spoons?

mo: what if sean puffy didn't change his name 12 times?

sare: what if we all spoke latin?

mo: what if we all caught the bus by being put into it by a helicopter?

sare: what if duane reade started serving steak dinner?

mo: what if sam never got with diane?

sare: what if mom never got with dad?

mo: isn't that what its all about?

sare: what if it really was all about the hokey pokey?

mo: what if old macdonald farm was repossessed by the bank?

sare: Indeed. what if the egg really did come first?

mo: WHAT IF! you hadn't put your chocolate in my peanut butter?

sare and mo tell griggs to suck it.

me: suck it, griggs
mo: guy thinks he can infiltrate
a VERY select blog
me: fer rizz
mo: Hi! Rory Albanese!
me: HI!
what?
mo: just put in anyones name!
Hi! Kate Spencer!
i have no idea
me: Hello Erin Barnes!
mo: Hello, Gina Campanoli!
me: Hello Randolph Mantooth!
mo: Hello Maurice Sandwichici
me: Hola, Maria Concheta Alonzo!
No hello for you, Chris Griggs.
mo: Konichiwa, Masaki Takahashi!
me: Aloha Wanawnanana Pikupua
mo: Goede Dag, Hamlet VonBapenspire
me: SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALUT! Jimmyjoejimbob!
mo: nooooooo hey ho for the man known as chris griggs
me: Hey chris griggs, did you notice?
did you see?
No love.
mo: its ok though! you still have memphis
maybe walking on beale street will kick your blues away
or give you a new kind
me: No love here, no mentions of your name
are you reading this, Chris Griggs?
Please tell me you are reading this, Chris Griggs!
mo: chris griggs
me: CHRIS GRIGGS
mo: i can't live if you aren't!
PLEASE TELL US YOU ARE READING US!
me: CHRIS GRIGGS!
CHRIS GRIGGS!
mo: sare! what if he doesn't read this?
me: omg
don't even say it
don't even think it
CHRIS GRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGS
mo: IF I HAD A HAMMER, I'D HAMMER MY FACE OFF IF CHRIS GRIGGS DOESN'T READ THIS
me: omg.
omg.
chris.

griggs.
>exhale<

seeds

sare: omg
that is like a sweet fruit

mo: fruit that kills me

sare: i know

mo: sufficates me
makes me so dead that i will miss you

sare: like a delicious mango in which someone has taken a small, watery poop.

mo: like the most beautiful apple filled with razor blades

sare: like cotton candy that has been lightly flavored with asbestos

mo: like a model with the back of her head blown off

sare: like a jelly donut filled with raw egg

mo: like cat having lizards

sare: like having many many extra joints in your arms and legs.
that might actually be coolish.

mo: like an opera singer doing rap

sare: or!
my dad!

mo: actually, that'd be awesome too!

sare: awesome in the hilarious way!

We Will Have The Most Tense Violins

sare: eep!
did she read our secret writings?
mo: she did
sare: op
are you in troubs?
mo: but then? i had that piano wire you had given me awhile ago? you remember when cece had the twins?
sare: ah yes! i had a different face then!
mo: i liked your old face but actually - it was the second time she had twins
we're gonna have to change our faces again
sare: ah ha! post face trans­plant! go on.
mo: well, i used it
the piano wire
and, i'm currently closing up my outlook
and deleting all my files
sare: i see.
>pours seven and seven<
>walks away from it<
>walks to dresser<
>makes sure mark is hit<
mo: * gets up to get files *
sare: >fingers revolver<
mo: * trips over body *
sare: >looks pensive<
mo: * picks body up and puts in office *
sare: >tense music plays<
We'll be right back!
OR WILL WE !?!?!?!??!?!?!?
GUNSHOT IN THE DARK
>DIAPER COM­MER­CIAL<
mo: * lights up on puddle of blood *
sare: >still looking pensive<
mo: * mo is gone *
sare: >puts revolver back in lingerie drawer<
>takes it out again<
mo: * black cat walks on a tightrope *
sare: >tense music plays more!<
mo: * screams *
sare: >coffee cup sits very close to edge of desk<
mo: * door slams *
sare: >bowling ball has knocked down all but one pin, which teeters in a slow circle<
mo: * toddler runs toward busy street *
sare: >slot machine comes up CHERRY­ . . . CH­ERRY . . . STILL SPINNING . . .<
mo: * heroin addict stands at a tilt getting closer & closer to sidewalk *
sare: >woman fumbles with keys at front door while a coworker with whom she is having an affair is behind her dis­rob­ing, while her husband and all of her friends hide behind her couch in the dark, preparing to shout "sur­prise! happy birth­day"<
mo: * russian spy crosses border in switzer­land into germany while russian snyper is trained on him while german sniper is trained on russian sniper *
sare: >mo hides behind locker in locker room, so so quietly, hoping the murderer will not see/hear her, as the killer walks by, slowly, one locker away, listen­ing, so so so quietly until . . .
until . . . .
until . . .
THE KILLER IS ME!
THE KILLER IS ME
THE JOKES ON YOU
THE KILLER IS ME!
Surprise!
mo: Everybody lies
* dies of heart­break *
sare: Happy Birthday!

TART TART

mo: your silly
you're
fucking stupid medlin

sare: you are my silly

mo: i'm the dumbest girl in the WORLD
I KILL ME

sare: your not dum
seriously

mo: STUPIDIEST
TART TART

sare: EVERYONE MAKES THE SAME MISTAKES

mo: EVERYONE IS CRAZY THEN
BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS THATS THE DEFINITION OF CRAZY

sare: YES WE ARE!

mo: EVERYONES GONNA BE PISSED THAT YOURE TALKING FOR THEM

sare: NO THEY AREN'T BC I AM IN CHARGE

mo: SAYS WHO?

sare: THEY SAID SO! BUT YOU KNOW HOW THEY CAN BE
mo: DON'T YOU MEAN EVERYONE SAID SO
DUH

sare: YOU KNOW "THEY"
THE PEOPLE
ALL OF THEM
AND THE GROUP THAT MAKES THINGS HOW THEY ARE

mo: WE THE PEOPLE ARE LAWYERS
AM I IN JAIL?

sare: YES
THE WORLD IS A JAIL, IF YOUTHINK ABOU TIT LONG ENOUGH

mo: I THINK ABOUT TIT CONSTANTLY

sare: YOU ARE CONS TITS

mo: NO, SARE - I'M PRO TITS

word to your moms!

mo: you have 4 min

sare: oh shit
ok
!

mo: 2 min

sare: oh shit!

mo: 1 second

sare: blue wire or the light blue wire!!!
which do I cut??!?!?!?!?

mo: bingo! you won a salad spinner

sare: or the baby blue wire??
oh jeez!

mo: its a bird!

sare: or the cerulean wire?!?!?!?
>sweats<

mo: * lambs eating greenery outside window *

sare: the thethe, uh, yellow wire?

mo: yellow is the sun that will be obliterated if you fail

sare: uhuhuhuhuh
i learned at the academy
red you're dead blue blew you up

mo: the academy ! really
which academy though

sare: lavendar makes you a cadavendar
the bomb not going off academy of arts and sciences

mo: in tennessee or cincnatti?

sare: i graduated summa cum KA-BLEWIE
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
HA

mo: that may very well be your last laugh

sare: it was.
>dies<

mo: um, sarie?

sare: yes?

mo: that means we're both dead

sare: oh shit.

Contest Weiner!

mo: we should do a give away on kill

sare: what we give away ONE FREE MURDER
WE KILL YOU

mo: with post its

sare: YOU WANT TO BE KILLED

mo: * looks around *

sare: YES WE KILL THEM ON LINE

mo: * breathes deeply *

sare: MAKE THEM CHAT WITH US AND KILL WITH HOT AWESOME CHATLINES
YOU SIGN UP FOR CONTEST OR WE KILL YOU

mo: sare - you keep saying you ... does that mean the contest is to kill ME!

sare: UM
WELL
ONLY IF YOU WIN

mo: except that i can't enter because of my affiliation with kill!
phew!

sare: NOT IF YOU DEAD

mo: see, you keeps with the sayings
is this contest really about killing me?

sare: IT OK YOU DIE SOON

mo: * record needle sound *
SARE!

sare: WHAT I SAY

mo: YOU SAID! YOU DIE SOON!

sare: OH YES I SAID IT BC IT TRUE

mo: * sneaks out the door *

sare: HAHAS YOU LEAVE TRAIL OF BLOOD
I SEE YOUR SOUL
YOU ARE THE WINNER!

mo: * eats mango *

sare: >SMILES PROUDLY<

sare: >FEEEDS YOU PERFUMES SALAD<

mo: * double dies *

sare: >DOUBLE DEAD<
YOU ARE THE WEEEEENER

Why am I always the boy?

mo: you love butt!
that's the problem
sare: it's true.
I blame myself
>pulls mail back over arms<
I'll be here
mo: WAIT!
sare: >buries self in Dell boxes<
mo: you give up SO EASILY!
* tosses long blonde hair over shoulder *
sare: well, i don't want to push
mo: * applies lipstick sys­ta­mat­ic­ally *
sare: >adjusts tie em­phat­ic­ally<
>licks fingers, straight­ens eyebrows<
mo: * checks line of pantyhose *
Sent at 1:14 pm on Monday
mo: Say, Johnny! Tell me about your ad­ven­tures. Give a girl
something to think about besides typing and filing, will ya?
sare: I say, there was avo­lu­min­ous roar!
mo: You don't say!
sare: and the fellas and I were taken aback

I lifted the lid and saw a blinding green light
it semed to scan my eyes!
that thing let out quite a holler!
and made a beeping noise
and then I called technical support

the copy machine!
it was pausing jobs!
mo: Pausing jobs! That's the worst thing I ever heard!
sare: you shoulda seen the queue

I gotta call dam ass xerox.
mo: THE QUEUE! must have been
miles long
Sent at 1:25 pm on Monday
sare: i actually do have to call xerox

Heavenly Creatures

Please excuse the slight hiccup in service. My network administrator is trying to keep mo and me apart and we have to spend a few days figuring out a way to kill it. It shouldn't be long. We'll figure something out in due time.
In the mean time, keep the emails and phone calls coming!



-sarie

Google and Presto!

mo: i think thats why G*d created me for you
sare: thanks dude!
mo: G*d?
yes
me: yeah!
mo: I bet He doesn't get thanked enough
sare: He's the "silent listener in every conversation"!
according to a wall hanging at my mom's house
mo: eep!
so, i guess he heard this
me: i know right?
He's heard worse!
EVERY conversation
mo: basically? G*d has internet with convo
you know?
like we could say i'd like to do a search for alien combatants and we google and presto!
sare: oh
like he says it and it happens?
mo: more like a radio
He thinks, I'd be interested in what people feel about Papa John's new crust
and switches in to that
sare: so, god's like, a huge nerd?
god's a hacker!
mo: He's NOT A HACKER OR A NERD but maybe a little of both with a little htlm experience
and he looks like oh! he looks like Dennis Quaid in Frequency
sare: AND!
The man who played DQ's grown up son played Jesus in the Passion f the Christ!
Life is a circle.
At least I'll always have you, wall hanging.
mo: He's the "silent listener in every conversation"!
(that's the only thing the wall hanging can say!)
sare: oh wall hanging!
>cue montage<
>wall hanging and I frolic in the park<
mo: * sare & wall hanging at movie *
sare: >play with frisky puppy<
mo: * running through snow flakes *
sare: >I pour milk, realize it's empty, wall hanging looks guilty<
>shoot each other with silly string<
>take self-defense class together<
mo: * goes to strip club sare looks decidedly nervous, wall hanging shrugs *
* wall hanging graduates from college, sare in front row with cannon powershot cued *
sare: >goes shopping<
>I look bored carrying wall hanging's purse<
mo: * wall hanging tripping up mt. fuji, sare puts hand out behind *
sare: >the two of us mediate at a monastery in tibet<
>get our nails done<
mo: * wall hanging makes crazy face behind sare in line @ motor vhiecle *
sare: >we speed-date together, end up at the same table<
>laugh!<
mo: * sare sleepign on couch, wall hanging comes in and pulls blanket over shoulder, sighs *
sare: >wall hanging notices a desk calendar hidden in my office<
>becomes enraged<
>I stop staying over so much<
mo: * wall hanging walking forlorn along brooklyn thing people walk along with nyc in back ground - tear make wall hanging a little bit warped *
sare: >we lose touch, I take a pottery class<
mo: * wall hanging starts dating through synagoge *
sare: >i look at a picture of us at the Sea World touchtank<
>shrug<
mo: * wall hanging storms through notre dame in paris where he moved to get over sare
gets to charles la whatever airport *
* plane *
* front door of sare's apartment *
sare: >a large picture frame opens the door<
>looks at the wall hanging quizzically<
Can i help you?
mo: * pulls wilted daisy from behind back *
sare: "he is the silent listener in every converastion?"
mo: * fade

Ooops!

mo: i think you're cute what do you think about that?

sare: i think i like you and I think i like that!
what's going on?
what am I missing?

mo: a finger! look down!

sare: Oh crap!'

mo: my hate slipped

sare: ?

mo: it cut your finger off

sare: oh come on guys, be careful!

mo: SORRY! my hate is so intense it slips up

sare: well, get a holster

mo: my holster got burned up by my seething anger!

sare: let me tell you this
maybe you need to stop by the ice cream store and pu t the hate in some frozen yogurt
just let is cool out a little bit
oh crap
you know it is hard to type liek this?

mo: it was an ACCIDENT!
you know how i get
maybe YOU should have been more careful!

sare: oh noes!
there it go again
mo re fi nger go e
t is i n t adv nt geo s of me t c ntin e t t lk o y u

mo: Maybe I should go get a coffee

sare: g d i a

fight!

sare: my boss wanted to chichat

mo: what?
ghey!

sare: i know!
the gheyist!

mo: so, what did you guys talk about?

sare: the weather
my trip
her office is twenty feet away from the office she started in 15 years ago!

mo: that makes me so sad

sare: she bounced around all over!
but tended up back here!
she likes it
shes rich. she has great hair. i don't feel too bad for her

mo: but dig a little deeper
does she have to DYE HER HAIR?
does she GET HER NAILS DONE?

sare: I dont know!
i guess!

mo: does she EAT OUT A LOT?

sare: PROBABLY

mo: does she HAVE CABLE?

sare: I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO HER APARTMENT
EXCEPT SHE PROBABLY HAS A HOUSE

mo: does she OWN?

sare: I HAVENT TALKED TO HER ACCOUNTANTS

mo: does she MAKE FOOD WITH HER KITCHEN AID?

sare: LETS SAY YES TO MOST OF THESE QUESTIONS AND NO TO ABOUT 1% PERCENT WHAT IS YOUR POINT?
15%
http://my.statcounter.com/project/standard/magnify.php?ip_number=1456399316

mo: MY POINT IS sare !!!!!!!!! SHE PROBABLY HAS A GREAT LIFE
(it won't let me view what you want me to view)

sare: SHE IS A GOOD PERSON AND IS NICE TO ME
SO I HOPE HER LIFE IS P GOOD AT LEAST
(its from ksk
a french searched for us?)

mo: )a FRENCH!
oui oui)

sare: (c'est bon!)

mo: I HOPE HER LIFE IS VERY GOOD!
if you like her that is
JEEZ SARE! I'M NOT THE TOWN BULLY

sare: yesh she's alright

mo: what were they googling?

sare: the webaddress?

mo: oh that's really weird

sare: i guess?
yeah

mo: maybe when i was talking to someone in FRANCE on the PHONE i may have MENTIONED it

sare: maybe you just know everyone in the world
and you just need to BRAG ABOUT IT

mo: MAYBE ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD KNOW me ... did you ever stop to think about that?

sare: BRAGGART
WE ARE FIGHTING

mo: WE'RE NOT FIGHTING!

sare: YES
WE
ARE
TYVM.

mo: I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOUR oh
thank you very much too
that's so sweet

sare: you can use that.

mo: I may start
would you like a lollipop?

sare: NO BC WE ARE FIGHTING.

mo: WE ARE NOT

sare: YES WE ARE

mo: WHAT ARE WE FIGHTING ABOUT AGAIN?
BECAUSE I'M KNOWN AND LOVED BY THE WORLD?

sare: ABOUT HOW YOU ALWAYS WANT TO HAVE THE LAST WORD
OH YEAH!
AND
THAT
TOO!

mo: I WOULD LIKE TO NOT TYPE NOW SO THAT YOU CAN HAVE THE LAST WORD BUT THEN I WILL BE SILENT WHICH WILL MAKE YOU THINK THAT I'M POUTING

sare: I like when rachel said "don't welch on your promise." that is a funny word.
BUT WE ARE FIGHTING.
WE'RE JUST ABOUT done.

mo: the kids that they use in the welchs jelly commercials are always too precocious
I'M NOT FIGHTING AT ALL

sare: IT TAKES ONE

mo: CAN WE PLEASE JUST BE FRIENDS NOW?

sare: ok

and then pour a little on the ground like in the rap videos.

sare: so salty
mo: um
want a diet coke?
sare: got one!
mo: me too!
sare: aaaaah­h­h­h!
mo: lets drink it together
sare: re­fresh­ing!
mo: i toast Chris­toph­er Columbus
sare: i toast the invention of the pantyl­in­er!
wait
i want to change my toast
mo: i'm waiting!
no drip has dropped
into my mouth
SARE!
i'm thirsty
sare: I toast toast
mo: hear hear!

Time to Pay the Bills!

mo: I realized what we need.

sare: ?

mo: SPONSORS!

sare: ok!
red bull!
Xanax!
Birth control!

mo: right now, i'm having a delicious DIET COKE!

sare: i got my tickets through ORBITZ IT WAS SO EASY 1-2-3

mo: I couldn't breath, my allergies were so bad, but then my office mate handed me claritin! Now breathing is a breeze

sare: I peed myself. Thank G*d I was wearing a SERENITY PAD

mo: In a preemptive strike against dying, I killed myself using Dream On!

sare: all this talk has gotten me thirsty, I'monna buy me a pair of tickets to FAILURE TO LAUNCH

mo: speaking of lunch, i did my search using google!

sare: I always go to walmart when I want to buy GUNS and BULLETS

mo: When rushing around looking for the higher power, I always chew Dentine Ice.

sare: I get bloodstains out of my clothes with TIDE WITH BLEACH. SO! Much! Bloodstain!

mo: When I meet with my narc, I always carry Max Factor cover-up! because you never know.

sare: Everytime I sell my body for cash down in AC, but then shank the john and rob him for all he's worht, and then make harassing phone calls to his wife until he pays me something in the low 6s, I dust on a little J,Lo Glow perfumed powder because his bitch of a wife doesn't deserve that money.

mo: Every since my mother left me and my 4 younger sisters with her father who periodically would leave her and her 4 younger sisters I've been praying for the authorities to take us away while eatting a Snickers Bar and listening to OutKast. Then again, maybe Grandpa will die and it will all be taken care of without the authorities.

sare: I'm so lonely. My way is Hanes Her Way.

mo: I can't wait to go to say Cherio! with some Cherrios!

No! Really!

mo: * sigh *
i ODN'T WANNA BE IN IT ANYWAY
f*cknuts
RIGHT!?!
F*CKEM

sare: seriously
i hear its frustrating
it has to be

mo: frustrating? they deserve to die
what?
i don't REALLY mean that

sare: of course not

mo: you do though

sare: oh totally

mo: you want to mash their faces into fenses

sare: yes, or just casually mock their clothes until they feel awkward.

mo: casually, like, ooh, are gouchos really back how bizzare

sare: or do that thing where you say something really harsh, and they say "I'm kidding! Lighten up!"
People really suoild lighten up

mo: I know, like when you say to people with cancer - hey, how's it living with cancer, cancer head!
and then you say just kidding!
*twinkle

sare: it really ought to wipe it all away, right?
I mean, jeez, don't take it so hard gloomy gus!

mo: its not like everyones world is ending
SELFISH!

sare: but still, if the world was ending, how hard would it be to put a smile on your face??!?!?

mo: * screech *
you mean, if the whole world is ending?
my WORLD?

sare: YES.

mo: THEN NO HAPPY FACE!
i have to go and have loads of sex!

sare: TMI
LOL

mo: YOU'RE TMI! LOL

sare: LOLOLO
HAHAHAHAAH
The world ended.

mo: ROFLNWDP

sare: No, seriously. The world ended.

mo: then i guess i'm not rolling on floor laughing near window dog poop

sare: JUST KIDDING TE WORLD DIDN'T END JEEZLUWEEZ TAKE A JOKE AND A CHILL PILL PLEAS EAND THANK YOU

Hey, Guys?

mo: hey! if you read, will you also comment?
it makes me feel like you are involved, dear blog reader person out there in the world.
love,
mo
what do you think sare?

sare: i think sure!
also in real life i prefer sarie
so when we become famous people, when they talk to me that should say that.
make that part of the plea

mo: in my mind?
sare = sarie
i need to change eveyrthing don't i?

sare: no
just outloud

mo: oh! ok!

sare: never mind
that is a dumb plea

mo: oh, sare (pronounced sarie) i love you, please dont think that that's a dumb plea!
i wish people would really call me mo instead of michele sometimes

sare: ok!
ok!
someone just referred to a stock as a "crackwhore stock".

mo: i will not ever look at you if you call me mishy though
WHO?

sare: some dude in the conference room who talks too loud

mo: i read: someone just refered to YOU as a "crackwhore stock".
AS IN ME!
and then i got excited that i had a totally new nickname

sare: NO!

mo: i think that people who have cool nicknames probably have really good home lifes

sare: i think that's what they want you to think

mo: they are TRICKY!
any other pleas?

sare: love me!
little else matters

mo: they love you, sare, they love you.

GOOD THING

mo: CRAZY TOLE ME HOW TO GET IN TOUCH WITHER

saer: BY HOW?

mo: I COULD EITHER CALL HER CELL PHONE! OR I COULD TRANSFER A CALL TO HER CELL PHONE
OR I COULD GIVE THEM HER CELL PHONE NUMBER
OR I COULD EMAIL HER ON HER BLACKBERRY
OR I COULD GO DOWN STAIRS AND GET HER OUT OF THE MEETING
OR I COULDZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

sare: SO MANY OPTIONS

mo: ITS SO INTERESTING IN ALL MY YEARS AS A SEC I NEVER KNET THWIT

sare: SHE IS SMRT THAT IS Y SHE IS BOSS

mo: I AM SO GLAD SHE EXPLAINED ALL THAT OTHERWISE I MIGHT HAVE NOT DONE ANYHTING MAYBY NOT EVEN TAKEN A MESSAGE

sare: GOD I WOULD HAVE JUST HID UNDER MY DESK IF THE PHONE RANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mo: I MIGHT HAVE SET OFF A SERIES OF EVENTS THAT WOULD END IN SOMEONE DYING LIKE THE PRESIDENT OF NEW GUINEA

sare: AT LEAST!

mo: OR MAYBE A LITTLE KOREAN GIRL WOULD HAVE TRIED TO SELL ME HER LITTLE CANDY AND INSTEAD OF BUYING IT I WOULD HAVE ENDED UP EATING HER INSTEAD

sare: OMG MY BOSS HAD TO SAY "SARAH SIT AT YOUR DESK" BECAUSE I WOULD COMEIN TO WORK AND SIT IN THE KITCHEN SINK ALL DAY.
YUO CAN'T REACH THE PHONE FROM THERE!

mo: THANK GOD THEY ARE SO VERY WISE RIGHT? WE MIGHT END UP EATING IN THE BATHROOM OR TAKING MESSAGES WITH OUR BLOOD ON FAXES

sare: OR WHEN SOMEONE COMES FOR A MEETING WE COULD START BEATING THEM UP

mo: I AM SURE THAT IF CRAZY DIDN'T TELL ME HOW TO LOOK IN THE OUTBOX IW OULD INSTEAD JUMP OUT HER WINDOW KILLING MYSELF AND ALL THE LITTLE BEAN PEOPLE ON 48TH STREET

Bunnies!

mo: shit that's wonderfully wrongly beautifully gheyly cute:


sare: I just became a mom of toddlers

mo: two of whom just adorably pulled out the pansies in the yard

sare: so cute! get the camera!

mo: already have the video set up and recording!

sare: look! he's hitting me with the basebal bat! so sweet! he's gonna be a baseball player! yes he is!

mo: oh, little jamie and his zany behavior!
look he hit rebecca so hard she lost her first tooth

sare: GET THE SCRAPBOOK!

mo: * gets scrapbook *
* deposits Rebecca's bloody tooth next to fist full of her hair pulled on 3/8/06 *

sare: >bedazles page<
>snaps photo of page<

mo: * registers jaimeconsistantlybeatstheshitoutofrebecca.com *
* puts jpeg on website *

sare: >feels empty<

mo: * blogs about Sare's emptiness on her children's website *

sare: >gets pregnant again<

mo: * begins picture campaign of baby belly *
* jamie finds new things to distroy *

sare: >has affair<

mo: * rebecca continues slow journey to alcoholism *

sare: >takes a yoga class<

mo: * records rebecca's trial for manslaughter of jaime *

sare: >marries millionaire<
>lives on boat<
>hates it<

mo: * takes dingy out to boat to take illicit pictures of new millionaress *

sare: >does meth<
>does more meth<

mo: * turns camera on self shows life of depravity *

sare: >does more meth<

mo: * does documentary of downfall of rebecca - shows mom as villan *
* all very heavy handed *
* wins oscar *

sare: >talks to Maury Povich<
>while high on meth<
>does playboy spread with jade barrymore and demi moores mom<
>creeps self out<

mo: * dies in Vegas hotel room *
* films death *

sare: >retires<
>gardens<

mo: * rebecca gets out of prison *
* pulls pansies *

sare: OMG GET THE CAMERA!

Hate-filled Mouthful

mo: here's what i hate today, a list by Michele O. Medlin
- i hate this one type of lettuce that tastes like perfume

sare: yes!

mo: its like white and tree like?
or at least it comes in that group of lettuces for some reason?

sare: tastes like you're eating twist ties?

mo: you got your perfectly good lettuces and then BAM! you get this fricking hate-filled mouthful of PLANT!
and no one can explain to you why!

sare: i know right?
i hate that

mo: you know what it is?

sare: i call it escarole
i might be wrong

mo: PREJUDICE!

sare: KILL!

mo: that's what i call it

sare: yes!
it tastes like prejudice

mo: because one person has DECLARED that we should like it

sare: bad and wrong and out of place in the salad of america

mo: well, screw YOU!
i will NOT sit at the back of the bus

sare: it's lettuce though
so
i mean, it's not like we can equate any of our experiences with the civil rights movement of the 50s and 60s

mo: why not?

sare: because it's a salad?

mo: but, i don't have any other struggles

sare: really?
well, ok.

mo: what do i have?

sare: escarole
the lettuce of prejudice

The Rocking Champs

mo: dialated eyes!
the name of my ROCK BAND
that i TOTALLY HAVE
sare: well, my band, Teh Dickheads are going to rule the battle of the bands this friday!
mo: if you guys even show up! aren't you all SUSPENDED FOR SMOKING
sare: Oh we'll show up alright! because we can prove to the dean that we were SET UP.
mo: really?
ugh
how?
sare: not your problem! you have to worry about who's going to sing! your lead vocalist has stage fright and won't some out of the equipment room of the gym!
mo: he'll totally come
sare: AND the father of your guitar player is sending him to military school! he isn't down with this band hokum
looks like all is lost!
and our bad-at­ti­tude band has it in the bag!
mo: WHERE ARE YOU GETTING THIS IN­FORM­A­TION?
sare: let's just say I have someone on the inside OF YOUR BAND IS TELLING THINGS TO ME OK IT IS THE BACKUP CHICK THAT THE DRUMMER HIRED BECAUSE HE LIKED HER SHE IS MY MOLE AND MY EVIL GF
i can't lie to you, you have heart!
mo: and we also are mu­si­cians!
sare: but heart won't win the battle of the bnads!
OR
WILL
mo: yes, it totally will
sare: IT??
mo: it will, scuzbutt!
sare: oh.
ok.
well.
congrats.
mo: are you quit­ting?
like that?
just like that?
sare: i mean, whatever.
mo: you guys are bad asses!
sare: we'll still play.
or whatever.
mo: if you aren't going to bring it, then dialated eyes! aren't going to go either
what is your deal?
sare: HAHA!
BINDING!
YOU GUYZ ARE OUT AND WE ARE THE ROCKING CHAMPS
>FLICKS
CIGARETTE
mo: um
sare: IN
YOUR
FACE<

oh
the dean is behind me inst he?
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mo: Hi Mr. Schul­ster!
or should i say DAD!
sare: Teh Dickheads hereby quit the battle of the bands
>tries un­suc­cess­fully to hide tears<
This isn't over!
mo: THAT'S RIGHT, BEEATCH
sare: SNIFFLE!

Faces of Hate

sare: sometimes hate finds you

mo: hate seeks out single white girl in city
hate, lonely for more of the same, eats in starbucks

sare: hate finds satisfaction in his 9 dollar half sandwich and coffee order

mo: hate gives blood at blood bank to the chagrin of the citizens of tacoma, wa

sare: hate enjoys stomping past you on the subway stairs, only to stop dead at the top to answer his cell.

mo: hate goes back to 1999 and tells all who will listen how sixth sense ends

sare: hate refuses to close his mouth when he chews.

mo: hate reminds you that you didn't call your mom today

sare: hate makes the friendly suggestion that you get started on that project, even though you're currently working on it

mo: hate says happy 35th birthday while holding out to you the goals you wrote down as a 10 year old that said you'd have both a tony and an oscar by this time

sare: hate plops down between you and that boy you like and tells that story about the time when you were really drunk and you burped and sneezed at the same time

mo: hate's dog poops in front of our stoop, but hate just 'forgot' to bring a baggy for disposal

sare: hate interrupts yours story about chinese cigarettes to quiz you on the facts, with the sole purpose of making you look like you don't know what you're talking about. I mean, you read the times article, but you didn't go to effing china. you didn't read a book on it or anything. i mean, do you have to take a seminar on something before you mention it as an interesting fact to break the tension after awkward sex?

mo: hate shows up at the all girl outing talking about the 'cute' boy she met last week at the picnic. the 'cute' boy in question is your ex-boyfriend which you both KNOW she knows.

sare: hate goes on and on about how much chemistry she had with him and launches into how sorry she feels for him because of his last girlfriend and then she's like "you might know him, you guys went to the same school" which just puts you in the worst position and it's like duh. Also she has those perfect cheekbones that you just want to smash except that they are so perfect and pretty you almost want to reach out and touch them. and seriously, who goes to picnics anymore? whatever, hate. like you're the one person in the world that doesn't look stumpy when you tuck your pants into your boots.

mo: hate then starts talking about how much WEIGHT she's gained over the summer ... the summer she was in ITALY on a work visa which she says she never had to use because she met this DELIGHTFUL family - they're czars from Russia visiting for the summer as well - who just INSISTED that she live with them. she learned both Italian and Russian and now is worried about getting into her clothes for the upcoming school year ... she just got accepted to Yale's graduate program for Drama

sare: man.
hate's getting me down.

mo: me too
want some cheetos?

sare: yeah.

insert milk

mo: someone started working here todayand she brought in cookies on her first day - discuss
sare: i think it's nice
mo: more on this nice, please
sare: were they good cookies or poison cookies?
mo: i have not tried said cookies because of that very condundrum
sare: well why are you complaining
do you have something against friendliness?
mo: i have something against everything in this instance
i say! look before you leap, missy!
sare: i will leap into a pan of cookies!
mo: then maybe you and missy should be new best friends!
sare: oh look she brought me cookies and i am not going to look the gift cookies in the mouth
I am just going to leap into them!
oh no
oh dear.
poison.
mo: tra la la, sare!
sare: . . .
. . . .
mo: * sigh *
sare: . . .
mo: never fear!
sare: . . . .
. . . .
. . . .
. . .
. . . .
mo: i have the cookie anectodote
sare: . . . .
. . . .
. . . .
mo: * inserts milk *
sare: Oh snap!

meen streetz!

sare: it's hard to be a pimp
mo: not no more
sare: I said it's hard to be a pimp
No, it's still pretty hard
mo: and i said not no more!
sare: i mean , i know ok
mo: its totally harder to be a hooker
sare: let's just say I know how hard it is
Well, i guess
mo: think about it!
a pimp? Does what?
sare: but pimps have to set up a business model
mo: beats hos!
sare: there is more too it!
mo: a hooker has someone put their pee pee in their pee pee
sare: you don't understand me!
mo: i understand that you don't understand the business model that you keep touting
sare: i have to keep on top of the books!
i have to listen to complaints all day about ho's and pee pees.
and weenises and peeners
mo: you have to beat with your diamond pinky ring
sare: and who-has
everyone forgets the who-has!
mo: beater
sare: well. it's a tough job.
i'm going to go back to being a gangster
or a cashier
no, bc then i'd have to stand all day
gangster
mo: i wish you return to your broadway star roots, but
i understand
sare: DAM IT FEELS GOOD TO BE A GANGSTER

They Say the Neon Lights are Bright

mo: dear big time agent man,
i need you in my life
yes, i know that's not really the direction you run but could you please as we say in the industry, hook me up?
love,
squeaky voice on the phone
PS - I will give you gummy bears

sare: can you get me good seats?

mo: of course!
you can even watch from the wings if you desire

sare: cool

mo: in fact!
will you star beside me?

sare: sure!
oh man! what am I gonna wear?!?!?

mo: that's what's wonderful about the theatre
they put us in the clothes
and then when we are nominated for the tony
they clothe us as well

sare: omg!
i am going to drink so much champange
like nine miles of it

mo: yes! they will also give us baskets like at the oscars
but there will not be an ipod in it due to the lack of revenue that broadway generates

sare: i can't wait to be famous and have people try to get into my dressing room

mo: that's why i have hired hambone

sare: and be like "no!" all tragic shading my eyes
"you mustn't see me without my makeup!"

mo: i will yell in a trilly little voice!
hambone!

sare: and i'd sing a mournful tune as i pulled off my falsies

mo: will you, please! help ms. sare with her fans

sare: we're going to have the most wig caps

mo: not moist wig caps
actually by the end, they will be

sare: EW!

mo: sare, that's the theatre
we glisten

sare: the reviews!

mo: HAMBONE! please get me my glasses!
oh, I can't

sare: dont make me shade my eyes again

mo: Ms. Nowak is giving roughly a dozen of the liveliest performances to be seen this year, all at the same time.

sare: I'm so tired

mo: Ms. Medlin exudes a bright zeal and conviction that rivals that of her Tony-winning predecessor, Marissa Jaret Winokur.

sare: I DON'T KNOW WHO THAT IS, REEGE!
but it sounds great!

mo: NEITHER DO I!
HOW DARE THEY EQUATE ME WITH THAT THAT THAT WOMAN!
I've originated this role

sare: she's so dead.

a little later

mo: i had to walk someone to my boss lady
and then go pee
how's our imaginary career going?

sare: i got bored with it and had a baby out of wedlock

handsome is an old lady word.

sare: i referred to someone as "handsome"
Am I gay?
mo: you are gay, but that's not because you referred to him as handsome - it's because you gave me a handjob during the show
sare: just being freindly
mo: it was mighty neighborly of you
sare: was I good?
mo: yes!
i hope to see a show with you again!
sare: maybe I can sit next to you this time
mo: hee!
sare: QUITE a reach from the row behind.
mo: gay!

WE ARE BREAKING UP WITH YOU, WORLD.

mo: Dear Fags.
sare: What up?
mo: We've decided you aren't worth it
sare: We totally already know you talk behind our backs
mo: Which frankly, sucks it!
sare: just so you know, we are crying as we type this
bc we are not heartless
mo: seriously, you are the heartless ones
always ignoring my friendster requests
mo: like when i said lets go see Cabin Boy together as a lark
and you thought, i meant it like ooh, good movie, so instead you didn't come
that sucked
sare: quite frankly i watch the news and don't take this the wrong way, but it's boring and depressing
mo: if just once, you read your history books, you'd know that you're repeating yourself - you kind of remind me of my mom.
sare: it's not like i was looking for a huge commitment from you, but i felt like i didn't even matter to you some times. sometimes and a lot!
mo: World, you meant yourself to me, but I'm not the girl I was when I first met you and I think you'd realize that if you took the time to NOTICE ME.
EVER
sare: and DON'T say that I can't do better than you bc that is just STUCK UP and IGNORANT
mo: and you know that whole cliche of its not you, its me? It does not apply to us
sare: BC IT SO IS YOU
sare: I am not paying you back for the trip to niagara on the lake because i paid for the car and also it was your idea to stay at such an expensive place!
mo: What do you even need to take a mini-break from?
You’re on an AXEL!
your path is totally set out for you
sare: You are permanently reclined, you know? I have to walk around in your gravity ALL THE TIME.
mo: SELFISH. SELFISH. SELFISH.
sare: I promised i wouldn't get angry writing this bc you are not worth it
sare: i hope for the best for you and i truly hope you get yourself STRAIGHTENED OUT
mo: until then, i shall be out of your hemisphere, looking for more than a couple of continents and wishing you well
sare: in summary, world, consider yourself DUMPED.
mo: WE ARE THE DUMPEES! FOR ONCE
mo: Love & Sparkles
sare: US.
mo: PS - please don't take this personally
sare: pps- Don’t try to log in to our email bc we have changed the PASSWORD and that is INVASIVE to our PRIVACY!!!!! (GROW UP.)

Tit-le

sare: i am wearing my scarf all day
because I am wearing the boobie sweater that i wore last friday

mo: boobie sweater!

sare: low cut!

mo: sex!

sare: form fitting!

mo: TITalating

sare: and WHATTA FORM!
knockers are a knockout!

mo: THIS.JUST.IN. Boobies Ban in Brazil!

sare: Bra-zilch! these hooters fly free!

mo: on hooter air

sare: ConTITnental!

mo: UniTITed

sare: Quantits.

mo: Bustansa

sare: Del-tatas.

mo: FronTier

sare: jetBOOB

mo: AmeriCANS

sare: SouthBREAST

mo: AT(it)A

sare: EasyJet

mo: SpirTIT

sare: VIRGIN!
the end

mo: hot.

Just You & Me

mo: lets get rid of the others

sare: yeah!

mo: i mean KILL!

sare: KILL!!!!!
KILL!
KILL!
KILL!
KILL!

mo: like i'd even have to try and convince you!
i've brought something new to murder with!


sare: ?!

mo: paper!
i saw it in a movie!
it was deliciously awful

sare: oh!
i was just thinking about this

mo: you stuff them with paper and make it all literary!

sare: oh my
i was just thinking how hard it is to kill yourself with paper cuts
because they can only happen by accident

mo: if you try hard enough, anything is possible

sare: me: I was thinking about this at the dmv

mo: at the dmv, well there's a good place for killing if i ever heard of

sare: yeah
i had plenty of time
AND PLENTY OF PAPER

mo: and plenty of others to hold 'em down

sare: i was thinking about doing this to myself though
but your way works too

mo: WE KILL OTHERS NOT OURSELVES
even though we'd like to go to 2nd heaven

sare: OK

>posts conversation<

sare: i am making you a mix cd
called "ghey for medlin"

mo: ME?

sare: yeah, and then it will mean we are going out

mo: * flutters eyelashes *
* puts hand on cleavage *

sare: >so do i<

mo: * oggles earlobe *

sare: >trims bangs<

mo: * does the hustle *

sare: >mourns childhood pet<

mo: * realizes grandmother really wasn't that bad *

sare: >learns italian<

mo: * discovers new path to subway *

sare: >cures lupus<

mo: * dives for coral *

sare: >composes four-hour opera about archduke Ferdinand<

mo: * teaches polar bear sign language while living in an igloo with the inuits *

sare: >learns to fly a plane and uses it to write "i love you medlin" in the sky, in Italian<

mo: * commands the seventh fleet to bomb the Taliban on Sarah's birthday *

sare: >builds time machine to go back to the time of moses and convince him to make the 11th commandment "thou shalt be good and kind to medlin, always."<

mo: * convinces the greeks to change the big dipper to be named the Sare *

sare: >gives mo's cats the ability to speak<
>english<

mo: * renders all men except stan unable to stand up to Sare's charm and have them give her all their money *

sare: >buys mo giant apartment with washer and dryer<

mo: * sends Sare on world tour, but I come along and we become famous girl group that never breaks up *

sare: >makes sweet love to ryan reynolds<

mo: * lands lead in next Pixar project directed by Andrew Stanton *

sare: >becomes famouser than angelina jolie and pretty like lindsay lohan but with out all the bad press<

mo: [SCREECH]
SARE! YOU ALREADY ARE PRETTIER THAN LINDSAY

sare: >orgasms<

mo: * rides away on big white horse *

sare: >misses her<

mo: * comes back suddenly, pulls Sare behind *
* sun sets *

sare: >hands over mix cd<